Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry deadringerfelix hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(757): View more from Virginia

DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

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(540): View more from Virginia

she says it's "been amazing lately"

(540): View more from Virginia

i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me

(815): View more from Illinois

I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs

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(303): View more from Colorado

No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.

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(216): View more from Ohio

You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason

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