There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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