i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
that's an acceptable place to lick
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
