As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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