What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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