p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
