I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
