I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
