okay pat passed out under dana's car
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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