I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
