Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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