people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize