Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
