Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
