Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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