Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
