TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
