Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
