why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
