The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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