your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
