Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We got so high we made milksteak
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
