She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
