I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My vagina is very pro this idea
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