Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
vagina is talking i cant
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
