what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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