I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
