I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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