I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
