We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just found a bag of teeth...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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