so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will pee on everything he values.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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