You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
