I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
