I just cut my nipple shaving
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize