Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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