New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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