i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
