you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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