you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
