I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
home. puking in laundry basket.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
