HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
