I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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