I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
