so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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