I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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