He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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