Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
