I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
