I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
