Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
